Chemo Pains

So even though the last few days have been ok, I would be lying if I said it hasn't been difficult. Everyone's been saying I've been so strong through this journey so far, but everyone has their weak moments....part of being human right?

I know I'm lucky that the chemo hasn't hit me as hard as alot of people, and I'm lucky I'm young so that I have the strength to handle it, but maaaaaaaaaaaan its frustrating! I've had a few mini breakdowns already.

The first one was on my Chemo day#1 when I started to feel really nauseous, and my body started to feel all weird inside. I didn't know what was going on in there, but I didn't like it..... not one bit! I just felt so helpless and all I could do was just lie there and take it! It was like a really bad hangover...unfortunately without the fun night out!

Another thing that broke me was just feeling so tired and not being able to do the things I normally do. To walk to the grocery was a big deal (the grocery is a 2 min walk from my place), and when I got there I just sat outside and waited for mummy to get what she needed. I went to the storage downstairs to get my christmas tree yesterday and almost fainted on the way back up. I was on the treadmill today for a grand total of 13 mins going at snail pace, and I still felt light headed afterwards! And that was ALOT of exercise compared to the last few days! I have to take a nap after everything....like I go to pee, and that's alot of work, so I take a nap.....ok ok I'm exaggerating, but I have been sleeping lots!!

I feel like life is going on around me, and I can't partake in it. I'm missing out on all these events, trapped in my tired body in my little apartment. I really hope its not going to be like this for long or else I'm gonna go crazy!!